Tonight I must write and tell you I am sorry…
I have become wordless.
I often struggle to find the right words to place into moments as they dance past me. Perhaps I have been wounded one too many times by misplaced words. Echoing across the silence or flying high above the noise of the crowd these words originating from the voices of ones whom I love, ones I have only just met, or even scattered and thoughtless words rolling off my own lips.
I like breathing into words, placing them as they ought to be. Not rushed, not destructive but genuine, honest and life-giving.
This is precisely why I love writing letters. And receiving them. There is intentionality, thought and time etched across each page, in a way that daily life may not always grant us time for.
Perhaps this is why I find myself without words as the days rush past and slowly blur into the incomprehensibility of this new life, which I have walked whole-heartedly into.
Perhaps when I stepped onto the plane, took one step further away from my deep loves, I left too many words behind.
Or, perhaps all that I have seen, felt, heard, tasted and felt in this new and overwhelming city has opened up my heart to a new, unspeakable depth inside. Time will tell, in all her silence.
So today I ask forgiveness, for all you who’ve joined me on this journey, but have been left in the dust by my silence.
Tonight, am I who I was 8 weeks ago? No.
Can I explain why? Only in pieces, and absolutely incoherently.
What I do know is that I desperately long, with my whole might to paint you pictures,sing you songs and share my tears of life here, in this place.
May silence remind us of the beauty of our words.
May the words come in the morning, in those moments dancing by.
she wanders 
March 16, 2013 at 1:18 pm
I remind you of the story of the little mouse, Frederick by Leo Lionni, the small mouse who gathered the colors of the sunset, the fall breeze as it moved across the fields where the other mice gathered the food to store for the winter, the activity of the nest, the silence through the long winter, then the melting snow, the spring breezes the red poppies in the wheat fields, and when the food ran out, he feed the other mice with words, painting pictures that kept their minds filled, “warms their hearts” and helped wait it out until spring.
your words are building and will come at the the time when it is the right time.
I send a big hug ………..you warm our hearts
the words will come when they need to
we are patient,
love mom